Engaging with Donors Archives - Barbara Barron

Why Are Your Donors Not Participating?

Barbara Barron — Mon, 04 Dec 2023 18:41:37 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted December 6th, 2023 | Subscribe to this newsletter

Right now, I have a few school clients struggling with lower giving numbers compared to this time in previous years. Participation has been on a bit of a downward trend for the past couple of years — but this fall, it feels especially troubling.

Schools who are used to 100% participation in their giving campaigns are behind. Others are noticing a general lack of attention among their families. There’s a level of chatter about this among seasoned professionals in some of the advancement circles I play in.

Everyone is asking: “Is it just us? What’s going on?”

I believe the answers are: “No.” And “A lot.”

In one painfully vivid case, a major donor family is so angry with the school for what she believed was an inadequate response to the Israel-Hamas war that she is refusing to speak to them. She has indicated their family giving may be over.

Another school is reworking their capital campaign schedule to allow more time for families to participate. Even as it means extending time and stretching precious resources.

Many other schools have families living in fear because they are Jewish. Or Muslim.

We see plenty of high schools with students protesting. While their parents and teachers likely applaud their social action, it is still highly distracting. Many of these students need their averages to stay solid right now for the college applications they are submitting in days.

Here’s the point…

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We are in a very challenging fundraising climate. Just barely through a pandemic, we now see two wars and a presidential political contest ramping up that has many frozen with fear or blazing with outrage. Add climate worries and the economy and… whoo-wee! It’s rough.

In my experience, when people are uncertain or fearful, they tend to hold still. We saw it in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. And at the start of the 2008 financial crisis. And in those early dark days of Covid. Everyone was asking: “What’s happening? Is it just us? Are you experiencing what we’re experiencing?”

But the truth is, that stasis didn’t last. People took action. Giving to many organizations bloomed. As long-time readers will remember I wrote about this in 2020.

I said, in effect, that if you stop asking your supporters, you will regret it later. Those that kept going, kept in touch with their families, kept asking in a respectful way, survived — and even thrived!

The same holds true now. We need to be especially sensitive, to be sure! Your donors who are worried about friends and family need your understanding. They don’t need a deadline that is, frankly, arbitrary anyway. We may want 100% participation before year-end or by a certain date, and we may believe this motivates giving (and it often does) even if it can depress gift amounts. But we and our fine schools will be far better off if we speak and behave in ways that are consistent with our community values: inclusive, understanding, caring.

Time to embody that.

We all hope this period of fear and worry, violence and destruction ends soon. We all want peace and justice. As we work and wait for those, let’s remain the faces and voices our supporters know and trust. Let’s keep them at the center of our work.

And if you are worried or scared right now, I hope you are asking for support from your personal and professional networks. Take care of yourself.

I send you my warmest wishes. Thank you for everything you’re doing.

Barbara Barron
barbara@barbarabarron.com

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BARBARA BARRON is one of the most respected and highly sought-after independent advancement professionals in the country, having worked with dozens of schools in every corner of the United States.

She has raised over $20 million for schools where she served as the Director of Development. Barbara is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and presenter who currently advises dozens of schools in various capacities. She is considered a thought leader in the world of advancement, with her writing widely shared by professionals in development offices worldwide.

More Advancement Articles

How Can You Set Yourself Up So That Next Fall is a Huge Success?April 14, 2026
Metrics That Matter vs. Metrics That Don’tMarch 16, 2026
What is Your Brand?March 2, 2026
Success Story #2February 16, 2026
The Steps We SkipFebruary 1, 2026
What if Fundraising Was Really about Creating Donor Joy?January 21, 2026

The post Why Are Your Donors Not Participating? appeared first on Barbara Barron.

How Can You Make Sure Your School is Ready for the New Millennial Super Donor?

Barbara Barron — Fri, 26 May 2023 16:18:11 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted May 31st, 2023 | Subscribe to this newsletter

Most of us have heard about the Giant Wealth Transfer that is coming in the next 20-25 years.

In essence, it is the predicted tsunami of personal wealth amassed by Baby Boomers who will pass it on to their children, their grandchildren, and to charities. Something like $80-100 TRILLION will be passed down. That will affect 45 million households in the US.

Zowy!

This from the largest cohort ever. And much of it will pass down to the 2^nd biggest cohort: Millennials.

And while potentially 10% of that million will go directly to charities, the bulk of it is going to the heirs of the Boomers. (Kinda makes you wanna be a little nicer to them, eh?!)

I know that many of my loyal readers are millennials. So, too, are the teachers in your schools and your current parents. Your donors. Right now, most Millennial parents have children enrolled in preschools and elementary schools. (I have client schools seeing big, first-time gifts from parents with 2-year-olds.) And they’re on their way to your high schools.

An exhilarating little factoid that I shared recently with my own Millennial family members is this:

By 2030, Millennials are expected to have five times the wealth they have today.

Take a minute. Do that math.

Some are already rich. Right now, there are 600,000 Millennial millionaires in the US. This is before the wealth transfer, friends.

More hopeful news? While 35% of Baby Boomers consider themselves to be “philanthropists”, a whopping 73% of Millennials consider themselves to be. Source: New Mindset of Philanthropy | Fidelity Charitable]

And they’re not just talking. They’re acting. That same data shows that 87% of Millennial employees give to charities. 70% donate their time. And it’s on the rise. They gave 40% more in 2022 than in 2016.

Check this out, if you don’t believe me: Millennials Had the Biggest Increase in Giving Among the Generations, New Survey Finds (philanthropy.com)

The headline is this: they’re earning more, and they’re giving more. Not everyone, of course. But many.

So the question remains. Are you and your school ready for what’s coming?

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Let’s get prepared.

Quick recap. A huge cohort of philanthropic-minded people – who are already generous and engaged, many already very wealthy – are about to become very, very wealthy.

Sounds wonderful, right? It is. And yet, are we in advancement geared up for this? Are we building the kinds of relationships with them now that will lead to them sharing their largess? Or asking for our help?

Important to remember is that this will be a big first for them. Most will be new to this kind of wealth. And for many, it will happen overnight.

At this moment, I see our roles in advancement as that of educators. And ultimately, the true goal is to be trusted advisors.

We have an opportunity to educate this group – and they are, in the main, open to it – about the ways they can leverage their gifts to have real impact. We can offer clear and compelling information about the ways they can make a difference at our schools. We need to make it easy. We need to find and promote “urgent” moments like giving days or organizing moments. Things like Make-A-Will Month in August (tricky timing for us in schools, I realize) or National Estate Planning Awareness Month in October (might be easier.)

Moreover, we need to be the place where they can find and access good information. We aren’t financial advisors and can never purport to be, but we can assemble a small group of qualified, objective professional advisors with whom our Millennial parents can consult for good advice.

And when we are talking with families about their giving objectives, we need to be prepared to raise the subject of their estate plans. Nothing makes you realize you need a will more than having a child or coming into big money. (Although shockingly, many parents of young children do not have wills.)

When our parent donors trust us, we can be helpful as they navigate this new world.

Some fun facts: Women tend to be slightly more generous than men (19% vs.17%). And pet owners are overwhelmingly charitable. How cool is that?!

Much of this great material came from a webinar offered by FreeWill, a terrific organization helping charities do a better job raising money through planned giving efforts. I highly recommend their lively and informative webinars.

If you’re realizing that you need to pull “planned giving” off the back burner – where it’s been simmering – and start to be more proactive, let me help you. Starting a planned giving program is not difficult. But it does require (like most things) a few early adopters.

With some simple, steady messaging, and good resources, you’ll be on your way to seeing results. For more information, I’ve written articles on the topics of creating legacy challenges and the power of the gift of life insurance.

Happy to help you.

Barbara Barron

barbara@barbarabarron.com

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About the Author

BARBARA BARRON is one of the most respected and highly sought-after independent advancement professionals in the country, having worked with dozens of schools in every corner of the United States.

How to Create a “Guide to Giving and Getting Involved” for New Parents

Barbara Barron — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 14:44:30 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted April 19th, 2023 | Subscribe to this newsletter

New parents. A fresh start. A new crop of prospects. A new group of people to bring into the community family fold. So much potential.

It’s well known that parents never feel as optimistic, as hopeful, and as positive about a school as they do during the first trimester. There can be – and often are – upticks in this sentiment at other times in the year, but the start of a new school year – at a new school — is just so special.

Everything is possible; nothing has gone wrong, yet!

As the people tasked with helping make that transition and entry into our communities as positive and smooth as possible, what can we do to set the stage for the great start of a relationship? I’ve written about the value of a great welcome letter. And I’ve talked about how important it is to be part of the welcoming team early on, so we aren’t seen as “those people ” only interested in grubbing money. (Ew.)

We need to be present at open houses, and “revisit events.” We must be visible during the first days of school to help make important impressions and connections.

This isn’t just about our intrinsic desire to get to know these new community members. They have a strong desire to meet one another, and we are there to help bring those connections to fruition. We are in a great position to help ensure that process — because we already know the returning families. We can be helpful by introducing people who are in the same professions or live or work in the same neighborhoods.

But what else helps?

In other words, how can we begin what might be a 10+ year relationship with a new family that sets the right tone and creates a launching pad for great things down the road?

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Start at the very beginning. (A very good place to start.)

Fortune favors the school that proudly offers an outstanding program and boldly asks families to support it from the very start. Note I didn’t say “arrogantly.” Just confidently. They are delivering on their inspiring missions by clearly articulating how they are different and what that means for their students. Therefore, their advancement office is unapologetic about asking families to give to make that all happen. Pure and simple.

This can happen at schools with even the youngest students. I consult with a fabulous preschool completing a major capital campaign. Many of their families with children as young as 2 have made the largest charitable gift of their lives.

Why? Because of the outstanding program and the powerful culture the school has created. It’s deeply gratifying to be their advisor on this journey.

What else can schools do to engage families early?

Many of my clients have taken my advice to make visible and explicit the things we do that are invisible and confusing to new families. This is particularly true with schools enrolling families without independent school experience or, as above, with young students. And while these parents, generally, have little to no experience with giving to an independent school, or possibly, charitable giving anywhere, we can be the place to introduce them to the power and joy of philanthropy.

Yes, the high schools and colleges that await their students later will benefit from our labors now as our new parents become educated and more sophisticated givers. But today, we’re the place where it happens first. We can be where the love begins.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to do that is to create a clear and helpful guide.

Some tips on creating your “Guide to Giving and Getting Involved”

I advise clients to produce a “Guide to Giving and Getting Involved”. You can, obviously, choose another name that better suits your school culture. Regardless of what you call it, here are the main elements:

1. A clear explanation of the ways families can volunteer. It’s best to include contact information for the chairs of various committees. A set of known dates or a link to the calendar is good.

2. Offer a glossary. Too often we use jargon or “school-speak” that those in the know know but newcomers find confusing. And worse, excluding. Don’t assume. Spell it out. What do names, places, events, and other terms mean?

3. Describe what the various giving opportunities are, and when families can expect to be contacted about participating in them. Include asks that are for their time as well as their treasure. Detailing this is helpful for parents’ planning purposes. It will also help you see where you are unconsciously creating traffic jams in terms of scheduling or giving. Start this work with the leadership team so you capture all the touch points parents will experience from the business office, the registrar, and others. Then collaborate with the PA leadership to fold in their events and deadlines. The result will be astoundingly comprehensive. And it will help avoid the nightmare of having an appeal arrive in the mailbox at the same time as the tuition invoice or the deadline to purchase uniforms.

4. Tell some stories. Ask a few engaged parents to tell why they give and volunteer. What do they get from the experience that others may wish to emulate?

5. Make the process clear. What are job descriptions for key leadership roles on the PA and the Board of Trustees? What is the process that parents who have time, talent, and treasure to share can do so? When does the process begin and end in each annual cycle?

6. Use great photography. Always.

Some of my client schools produce printed versions of the Guide each year. They mail it in the packet of materials to new families. But they also place them in smart spots on campus like in the admission office and the Head’s office.

Other schools choose to only publish this online. (It does make it easier to make updates. And it has the advantage of being visible to inquiring families.)

Regardless, let’s be transparent from the start about what engagement really means at our school. Let’s be clear about what we hope and expect from families as they join our wonderful communities.

If you’d like help planning to create a Guide for your school, or getting others on board with the concept, let me know. And, as always, happy to hear your suggestions.

Happy connecting!

Barbara Barron

barbara@barbarabarron.com

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About the Author

BARBARA BARRON is one of the most respected and highly sought-after independent advancement professionals in the country, having worked with dozens of schools in every corner of the United States.

How We Can Get Rid of That Terrible Thank You Letter

Barbara Barron — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 15:33:44 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted September 7th, 2022 | Subscribe to this newsletter

Recently, I completed an advancement appraisal for a great little school.

They are doing most things really well. And it shows – school spirit is high, they have terrific parent engagement, everyone gives, and their fundraising numbers are up. They’re in a good place. Still, I believe the Head was wise to request that I take a closer look…

Why? Well, because they have some new people in key roles so are in a moment where they can make smart adjustments to their practices. They are actively setting themselves up to be in the best shape possible as they prepare for some big initiatives in the next couple of years. It was brilliant.

Still, not everything was perfect. It never is.

One of the things I called out as an “area of improvement” was something that I see at almost every school I’ve ever consulted with. Even the really sophisticated schools with huge development teams and even bigger fundraising numbers seem to struggle with this one thing.

It’s the thank you note. It’s really bad.

What Makes a Thank You Note Bad?

Someone must have gotten the idea a millennia ago to combine the thank you letter with the tax receipt. Likely they were short-staffed and figured one letter could do both jobs. Maybe they thought it was helpful to the donor?

I’m sure their intentions were good — or likely the casualty of the lean administrative support most schools endure. But that’s of no matter. It’s still bad. And it’s time for it to change.

Then, because on some level everyone knows it’s bad, they put lipstick on that piggie by having someone, like the Head, jot a little scribbly note at the bottom. As if. They are fooling no one that this is not a basic form letter they are trying to disguise or dress up a bit. Nope.

The first time I recommended to a Head that instead, we move to actual handwritten thank you notes, he said I was crazy. (Well, he didn’t actually say those words but his expression did!)

He insisted that it would be far too time-consuming. I pointed out that the time he took to write his scribbly personal note at the bottom of each form letter (which were actually highly customized and excellent messages) was significant. I said he’d simply do the same thing, write those same three nice sentences, but on a bonafide (lovely) card. We’d insert a separate, tax receipt into the card before mailing.

Perhaps he sensed I was on to something or just wanted to try it so he could prove it was a nutty idea, but we did it.

What Happened?

Yes, there were about 6 weeks from early November to winter break when he likely wished he’d never agreed. But to his credit, he remained silent and kept writing. He must have realized he’d have been just as busy writing notes anyway that time of year. We just changed the vehicle.

And the result? He was stopped at basketball games and at drop-off by families who were blown away that he took the time to write and thank them personally for their gift.

Same scribbly – (nice) – note. But before, it clearly hadn’t felt like a personal note. They may not have even read it. And he’d spent so much time!

Now, spending the same amount of time but using a different format had a far bigger impact.

If I’d really had my way, we’d have omitted the receipts and sent one, comprehensive receipt to all donors the second week of January for their giving the prior year. That’s the time when we all start pulling together our tax documents. Schools live in a fiscal year. Donors don’t.

Plus, how often do you get calls in the spring from donors requesting a duplicate receipt because they have misplaced the original? Of course, they have. It was a dang form letter!

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The End Result

Small change, big result. Giving grew steadily, significantly. I am not claiming that was merely the result of changing the thank you note but it contributed. The approach was part of an intentional effort to stay focused on the donor experience, on leadership giving, and on more customized stewardship – the grandmommy of them all.

ProTip: Be sure to give your Head a “cheat sheet” so she s/he can quickly write great notes. Include the gift amount, if it is an increase, the name of the student, and anything current and interesting (i.e. she’s been cast in the school play or they are loving soccer this fall).

Also, insist that you get the completed notes back, so you can scan them before mailing. You’ll be grateful you did this next year so the Head doesn’t write yet again about the student loving soccer – unless they are now captain of the team!

I urge you to give it a try. I’d love to hear how it goes.

Be well,

Barbara Barron

barbara@barbarabarron.com // @BBAdvancement

About the Author

My name is Barbara Barron, and I’m writing this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

I’ve been working in the field of Independent School Advancement for over 20 years. In that time, I’ve had the pleasure of creating and implementing successful fundraising plans and programs for so many incredible schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing real growth at The Carey School, Marin Primary & Middle School, Woodside Priory, Crystal Springs, Presidio Knolls, Sage Ridge, and San Diego French American, and others. (Maybe we’ve met!)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a struggling school start to thrive. My hope is that you’re here to make a positive change as well. I hope my advice can be a part of that change.

Shoot me an e-mail if you want to swap tips, or share your voice here.

Let’s do this, together.

The Best Question You Can Ever Ask a Donor

Barbara Barron — Sun, 10 Apr 2022 15:33:41 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted April 27th, 2022 | Subscribe to this newsletter

Recently, I wrote about the feasibility study I was conducting. I wrote about how, as I am speaking with, and listening to, my client’s supporters, I am hearing vital information that they might not be sharing with my client. Stuff that really, truly should be, and would be, shared, if we created intentional lines of communication for this kind of feedback.

This led me to consider, broadly, the power of good questions, and the role that questions play in building a truly connected stewardship program.

And then I realized that there is one question that, if presented to a donor, could open up a whole world to anyone who asks it. A question that puts the power in the hands of your donors. A question that could change the dynamic of your program forever.

But before I tell you what this question is, I want you to ask yourself, “What questions am I not asking that I probably should? What is it that I am I truly afraid of hearing?”

Alright. With that in the forefront of our minds let’s begin.

There’s a line of inquiry in the set of standard study questions that is worth mining. We ask about the project we are considering. We ask what the donor thinks are the project’s “strengths and weaknesses.” We ask if the donor thinks the community will “go for it.” We ask about its “degree of appeal.” We ask how “compelling” it is.

After all, any project we endeavor to raise money for needs to stand up to the requirements of a capital campaign, right? It needs to appeal to a few anchor or lead donors who will carry the bulk of the campaign goal on their shoulders. We say 10-20 families will likely be responsible for 50% of the goal. Often 70-80% comes from a small but mighty group that needs to include 100% of the board of trustees. That’s table stakes. So that little group of leaders needs to love the project.

But it can’t be a project that only appeals to a small group. It needs support that is both broad and deep. That’s why we always ask these key questions:

· How will this project positively impact daily life for students and teachers?

· How will this project enable the school to more fully deliver on its inspiring mission?

· What will be lost or missed if we don’t do this project?

If the answer to any or all of these is “not so much” or “not clear” – that’s obviously a giant red flag! We need to be sure that the project has merit, impact, and appeal. It can’t just be a “nice-to-have.” Asking the opinions of the people who currently support the school at the highest level is an essential step. In fact, it is the best measure we have for predicting the potential success of our campaign.

But it shouldn’t end there. There’s one question that we simply must start asking.

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So, what’s the million-dollar question? Here it is:

“Are there other different objectives you think this organization ought to consider?”

In my experience, the first reaction is silence. But I’ve learned to wait. Good stuff can come.

First, the donor defaults to, “Well, if the organization and its leaders think this is the most important thing, who am I to question it?”

But wait! Ask it again. It can take a minute. When they do formulate their thoughts, it’s here that the truly interesting stuff comes out. Maybe it is an actual project that needs to be done. More often, however, it is the beginning of truth telling about what has been overlooked, misunderstood, or is going unspoken.

I’ve heard stories of hurtful moments. People being left out. Donors feeling like ATM machines. (Ouch!) Programs that are being neglected. Black holes of information about what was done with previous gifts or questions about the impact of past projects. I’ve heard donors share worries about staff who are overworked and under-appreciated, and about families receiving tuition assistance that never truly found their place in the community. Biases are revealed. Entitlement run amuck.

The answer to the big question, my friends, is never easy to hear. And in my role, as a consultant working for your school, there’s little that I can do to fix it. But I can ask the question, and I can listen to the answer. And I can share it, without attribution, so that the leadership of the organization can seek to address it or at least consider how to explore it further.

We cannot address what is invisible to us.

I’m curious to hear what you think about this question. I’m curious to hear if you’ve had experience with it or a question like it. I’m curious if you feel there is the time, effort, and attitude of openness at your school to even ask it. Can we attain a non-defensive posture? Because building something valuable always requires that, first and foremost. Let’s try. We have to.

My inbox is open. Let me know what you think.

Be well,

Barbara Barron

barbara@barbarabarron.com // @BBAdvancement

How Can You Set Yourself Up So That Next Fall is a Huge Success?April 14, 2026
Metrics That Matter vs. Metrics That Don’tMarch 16, 2026
What is Your Brand?March 2, 2026
Success Story #2February 16, 2026
The Steps We SkipFebruary 1, 2026
What if Fundraising Was Really about Creating Donor Joy?January 21, 2026

The post The Best Question You Can Ever Ask a Donor appeared first on Barbara Barron.

What We Can Learn From Banks – and Then Do Very Differently

Barbara Barron — Fri, 16 Apr 2021 11:53:57 +0000

April 21st, 2021 by Barbara Barron

My husband and I recently went through a real estate transaction that reminded me of my least favorite donor experiences. As we were going through the rigamarole, I thought to myself, “This is uncomfortably close to how our donors sometimes feel.”

Sad, but true.

Story summary: we refinanced our home in CA and purchased a second home closer to our kids and grandchildren in CT. (Lucky us!) We used one bank for both transactions. A bank with whom we’ve been banking for many years. In fact, they hold the current mortgage on our home. Should be breezy, right?

Well, no. Instead of one underwriter handling both transactions, we had two, each asking for the same information from us, multiple times. These two underwriters – lovely people, I’m sure – needed to be repeatedly given the exact same documents since their fancy “online mortgage loan tracker” failed to work much of the time. Mismanagement, lack of communication, and everyone busily working in their own silos brought us to the brink of the deal falling through, on the Friday before our weekend flight to CT for the closing. Woof.

Everything was fine, in the end, but that was not due to the care or skill of the bank but rather the skill and the patience of Job on the part of my husband. Not sure who the customer was here…

Not sharing this to complain. Merely setting out the context for the learning that I had and hope you have.

How is this like the experience of a donor? Let’s step into her shoes. Someone who wishes to do three simple things, all at once. She wants to 1) make an annual fund gift, as well as 2) update her alumni profile, and, finally, 3) buy tickets to the event.

Three things, that if you were about to pick up the phone and call the school’s development office, should be all be handled within a fifteen minute call.

So now I ask myself: should this imaginary donor need to deal with three different people in the development office? Of course not. The person who picks up the phone in the development office should be capable of handling all three simple tasks. Because these are simple tasks.

I can sense as many of you shaking your head in disbelief as I can in acknowledgment. This happens, folks. And – like at that extremely well-to-do bank – this happens often.

You heard me use the word “silos” earlier. I was very intentional with my word choice. That’s what it feels like, sometimes. We sit busily handling the tasks we feel best at, or are sometimes told to do, and make the donors do the hopping between us. It works for us but seen from the donor’s perspective, it can feel like a relay race. the donor doing the running.

Instead, let us consider the idea of diversifying our training, and making sure that each and every gift officer is responsible — no, empowered – to manage everything that donor may need. Need to RSVP to an event? Happy to help! Change of address? Got it! Wish to make a pledge payment or get a duplicate gift receipt? You bet. Consider the radical idea of having one gift officer managing all the points of contact, creating a seamless and positive interaction, with her donors. Sounds so reasonable, doesn’t it? Not one gift officer for all of your donors. But the donors to whom she is assigned to cultivate and to steward. Think portfolio.

Now we return to our story: Next, we visited the local bank to set up a savings and checking account. The very kind teller explains that, sure, they have online banking. But (and she really did look chagrined to say this next bit), their bank requires that we establish a 6-month “relationship” before we can make deposits remotely. I’m sorry? (I confess I actually laughed out loud in her office.) Relationship? What they really mean is that they require a 6-month “probation” on the part of the customer before the customer is permitted to deposit her money into her account, remotely. Wow. And they are called “Savings and Trust”.

This also felt uncomfortably familiar. In schools, we tend to start a relationship with a family by asking (but actually insisting) that their first gift be made to some amorphous “annual fund”, which we are often at great pains to describe or explain. Not until we know them better do we provide the opportunity for them to make a more designated or – gasp – restricted gift. Honestly, if we flipped that scenario, and gave donors the chance to first make a gift to something tangible and restricted – and then stewarded the heck out of them by showing them the impact that gift made before we asked them to trust US with a gift to the Annual Fund, just imagine what our schools and other non-profit organizations could look like!

Any one of us, and every single donor, can purchase almost anything online and have it on our porch the next day. We’re accustomed to having our coffee made precisely the fussy way we want. That’s the world we live in now. Is your development office working in that same world? Or are we claiming – because it’s easier to stick to the way of working we already know, or whatever excuse we come up with – that “this is the only way we have right now?”

I know we can do better. Let’s all be inspired to look at the work we do differently. Better. (Your future donors thank you for making life easier for them!)

As always, I’m here if you want to discuss this idea. Just reach out via email.

Stay well,

Barbara Barron

barbara@barbarabarron.com // @BBAdvancement

How Can You Set Yourself Up So That Next Fall is a Huge Success?April 14, 2026
Metrics That Matter vs. Metrics That Don’tMarch 16, 2026
What is Your Brand?March 2, 2026
Success Story #2February 16, 2026
The Steps We SkipFebruary 1, 2026
What if Fundraising Was Really about Creating Donor Joy?January 21, 2026

The post What We Can Learn From Banks – and Then Do Very Differently appeared first on Barbara Barron.

What Are the Dangers of Having an Angel Donor?

Barbara Barron — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 08:00:00 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted on February 12th, 2020

Are there downsides to having a donor (or two or three) who effectively secures our entire Annual Fund campaign each year? Or who provides most of our capital campaign (or major gifts program) giving?

Does posing this question make me sound insane? I mean, why would we not want to have the extraordinary generosity of a family (or a few families) who save our bacon? Who make our schools’ dreams come true? Who are effectively our organizations’ best friends and saviors?

For some of my readers, you’d welcome such a philanthropic investor in your fledging school or your stagnating giving program. I’ve been there. We’ve faced the very real question: who are we going to turn to to kick start this great idea? Or who can be an anchor that gives the rest of the Board or community the confidence to participate with their own stretch gifts? When we do have that person or family, our campaigns (annual or otherwise) are injected with some kind of secret sauce that enlivens our work as advancement professionals, brings relief to our Heads, CFOs and finance committees, and stacks up the odds of reaching – or (breathe! )– exceeding our goals.

All true. But what I’ve also seen happen is that these lucky organizations risk becoming just a little lazy. We start taking their support a bit for granted. Like a reliable family member, we may begin to view this donor as a done deal. Someone we don’t need to work so hard for anymore. After all, they have told us we can count on that. But, like with our partners or parents or best friends, the relationships we enjoy with these philanthropic angels deserve nothing less than our very best work.

Because things can change. They always do. In a school, that angel may be a current parent. Someone who soon will become an alumni parent, slipping further away from the heartbeat that is the daily life of their child in our classrooms. Or maybe your angel donor is an alumna. Better for longevity, yes. But, as time goes on, she will have other and perhaps more compelling opportunities to make a difference in her world. After all, as I often remind my clients, generous people tend to be generous to several places. If we are doing our best work, we will remain the top one, two, or three priority for our angel. But we can’t count on it indefinitely. Stuff happens.

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During the uncertainty of the financial meltdown in 2008 and 2009, I heard from several lead donors that they needed to spread around their charitable resources to the many people recently out of work and struggling. Or following the devastation of a hurricane or wildfire, we may find our schools competing with far more urgent, and therefore, compelling needs in our communities. Like I said: nothing is certain.

But even without a disaster, we need to be careful. I am reminded of a school where the top donor (and Board chair, bless him) served for close to twenty years in that role. Today, most of our bylaws would prevent that. But I can assure you the school benefited enormously from that unconventional arrangement. This good man and his very good wife transformed that school through their service and their philanthropy. When he finally stepped down, the dearth of leaders in waiting was appalling — but maybe not surprising. I mean, honestly, who could have possibly imagined filling his shoes? And the new chair was, well, lacking in all ways. It took time for them to “grow” their next good leader.

Another school I know has enjoyed the extraordinary generosity of a Board member. This person and her partner gave significantly to the capital campaign and they annually gave gifts five times larger than the next Board members and more than ten times greater than the average enrolled family. While that level of generosity is thrilling and so beautiful, it poses a risk. How will the school compensate for that support if (or when!) it goes away? What happens when the family eventually moves on philanthropically after her children graduate?

So, yes, there are some dangers we face when blessed by an angel. How to mitigate them? How to ensure, as best as we ever can, that we remain a top priority for these extraordinary people for as long as we can?

The answer is simple, but not easy. For regular readers of my blog, you likely know what’s coming: Stewardship.

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For our angels, as well as those angels in waiting, it is the regular, thoughtful, genuine expressions of gratitude and demonstrations of the impact of their giving that help us keep them close. Yes, we can ask them to serve on our Board (and ought to), get their advice (for sure), and invite them to every event, concert, or game (yea, ok). But let’s be clear: they likely have plenty of friends, other commitments, and endless cool things to attend. What we and we alone can do is provide them with the heartfelt proof of the ways their gifts are making a real difference to the people and programs they care about. Simple. But not easy.

And there’s one more act of ultimate stewardship we can provide for these angels: we can show them, through our intentional and highly professional advancement program, that we are in fact identifying and cultivating their replacements. Gasp! Really!? Yep. If you don’t believe me, ask them.

Ask them what they would love to see, above all else. I betcha a nickel they’ll say they want to see us grow more leaders. Leaders want to lead. And without those coming up behind them, who are they leading? You can be confident that your angel sometimes worries in the privacy of her heart about what will happen to our fine schools when she is no longer able or, frankly, interested in continuing in her current role.

Let’s get ahead of that. Let’s build an intentional pipeline of donors who could, if treated right, step into that top spot. Let’s build our budgets, office procedures, and calendars to keep cultivation and stewardship a priority. And let’s be sure to report to our angel what we are doing, every day, each year, to grow the pool of people who may, in time, join her. Or, someday, take her place. That is a true and lasting gift. Maybe the only one she really wants.

If you would benefit from some help creating an intentional cultivation and stewardship program, give me a call. As always, my door is open. We can do this, together.

barbara@barbarabarron.com

860-604-9081

My name is Barbara Barron, and I write this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

I’ve been working in the field of Independent School Advancement for 20 years. In that time, I’ve had the pleasure of creating and implementing successful Strategic Fundraising Plans for so many incredible schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing real growth at Presidio Knolls School, San Diego French-American School, Julia Morgan School for Girls and others. (Maybe we’ve met!)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a struggling school start to thrive. My hope is that you’re here to make a positive change as well. I hope my advice can be a part of that change.

Shoot me an e-mail if you want to swap tips, or share your voice here.

Let’s do better, together.

The post What Are the Dangers of Having an Angel Donor? appeared first on Barbara Barron.

What Should We Do When We Make a Donor Angry?

Barbara Barron — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 16:59:09 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted September 6th, 2019

Imagine what goes on in the mind of a donor when he decides to make a big gift to your school…

Something got him amped up – maybe attending an event or reading about a recent accomplishment. Sometimes we know the moment that ignited this generous impulse because we ourselves created it. (Go us!) But many times, maddeningly, we don’t. Regardless, it’s a blessing, right?

So, he’s feeling the love and excitement about your school and its mission. He grabs his checkbook and – whappow! – sends off a nice gift. And this time? More than he usually gives. Like, twice as much!

He’s feeling good. He’s feeling like he did the right thing. And then…

Days go by. Three. Four. A week.

His feelings cool. He wonders if perhaps he ought to check to make sure you even received his gift. Checks his account online. Yep, the check was cashed. Huh.

No one calls. No one even shoots out a quick “Got it – thanks!” email.

His concern downshifts into disappointment. Maybe he feels a little bit irked.

Two weeks go by. Then, a response! A gift acknowledgment letter arrives in the mail. Hmm. Has all the telltale signs of a template. It’s… fine. It’s accurate, thank the goddess. But his emotional temperature is tepid at best. And in a few hours, it’s stone cold.

A sad story, isn’t it? And one that happens every day, to some donor, somewhere. But I don’t tell you this story to guilt you, dear reader, but to ask: how likely is it that this donor will renew this big contribution the next time you ask him for a gift? Not.

Oh dear. Perhaps we should think of how to fix this…

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A radical approach would be to pick up the phone and, gulp, apologize. Admit you just saw how slow and inadequate your response was and promise to do better. And then, do better!

But for our purposes today, let’s look at how we could have handled this situation differently. Let’s work to prevent this permanent stain on our relationship from ever happening.

Okay, back to the start.

Our donor, feeling good, writes our school a sizable check…

Two days later, you open the mail, see this significant increase, and immediately pick up the phone. Right? You don’t make an elaborate plan. You don’t “calendar this for next week.” You simply let the genuine emotion of the moment guide you. You do it even if it makes you a few minutes late for your next meeting. Priorities.

He answers! He’s surprised to hear from you so soon. Sounds kinda impressed, knowing how busy you are…

You tell him how much his support means and share a quick story of what happened at assembly that morning. He thanks you profusely for calling! He tells you he appreciates everything you’re doing for the school. It sounds like he might even be a little choked up…

(You sure are!)

The feelings that prompted his gift are affirmed. I’d hazard to say they’re amplified! Sure, he still gets his receipt a few days later. But instead of that cold and generic letter, it’s accompanied by a handwritten note from your Head of School. Or the Board Chair. Or both!

He’s still riding on the wave from your call. In fact, he told three friends and his daughter about it.

Now let me ask you the same question from before: how likely is it that this donor will renew this big contribution the next time you ask him for a gift?

Exactly.

There are “thank you’s” that are us merely going through the motions, and there are genuine and powerful expressions of our gratitude. Sometimes the distinction between them is simply a few extra minutes, and the intention to make a difference.

To press the point even further, I quote the late great Maya Angelou:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Look, I get it.

As Advancement Professionals, there are dozens of tasks clamoring for our attention every minute of every day. Schools are hoppin’ places. That’s why we love them! But we can’t let the speed of things distract us from what’s important.

We are never too busy for the grateful phone call.

I’m going to say that again, in bold, so it registers:

You may be busy, but you are never too busy to make that call.

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Because that call was not only the right thing to do, it was also the most strategic thing to do. You increased that donor’s loyalty and potentially ensured an even larger gift later. It all adds up.

But I don’t want to end it there. Why? Because I don’t write this blog to only push a model of maximizing gifts, no matter what. That’s not me!

If you’re anything like me, you live to be part of that transformative moment when someone chooses to be generous.

But we may also share a weakness–it’s that we don’t tend to share these wonderful moments with the people who absolutely need to hear it the most: the Head of School and the Board Development Committee.

Why? Well, it feels like maybe we’re bragging…

It’s not! When we make a genuine connection with a donor – we better tell the people we’re held accountable to. We’re all trying to foster a culture of gratitude at our schools, and doing that means starting with ourselves, right?

After all — if you won’t tell them, who will?

Heck, after you tell them about the great work you’re doing, share it with me! We all could benefit from hearing a bit more good these days, right?

barbara@barbarabarron.com

860-604-9081

My name is Barbara Barron, and I’m writing this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

I’ve been working in the field of Independent School Advancement for 20 years. In that time, I’ve had the pleasure of creating and implementing successful Strategic Fundraising Plans for so many incredible schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing real growth at The Carey School, Marin Primary & Middle School, Woodside Priory, Crystal Springs, Sage Ridge and others. (Maybe we’ve met!)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a struggling school start to thrive. My hope is that you’re here to make a positive change as well. I hope my advice can be a part of that change.

Shoot me an e-mail if you want to swap tips, or share your voice here.

Let’s do better, together.

The post What Should We Do When We Make a Donor Angry? appeared first on Barbara Barron.

How Do We Create Word-of-Mouth Buzz With Our Donors?

Barbara Barron — Wed, 08 May 2019 04:00:55 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted May 8th, 2019

You’ve no doubt heard the story: the little boy who left his cherished stuffed giraffe Joshie behind at a Ritz Carleton hotel.

The child is distraught, naturally. So the father defaults to his go-to tactic: he tells a white lie. He assures his son is that Joshie is fine and just decided to stay on a few extra days for a little vacation. The child is mollified, for the moment, but there’s still work to be done.

The father wisely calls the hotel to check in on Joshie and yes, indeed, Joshie has been safely located, thank goodness. He will be soon on his way back to the little boy.

But only after a brief detour…

The hotel staff proceeds to stage a series of fun and silly tableaus in which Joshie is photographed in various Ritz locales: lounging poolside on a chaise, getting a massage at the spa, even driving a golf cart. And those photos, along with a bag of Ritz goodies like a frisbee, hat, and cookies, arrive along with Joshie a few days later.

The child is thrilled to have his friend back. His parents, understandably, are sold on the Ritz Carleton for life. (Wouldn’t you be?) And beyond booking at a Ritz Carleton whenever they can, they tell everyone they know about this experience.

I heard about it at a business conference a few years ago. The original story was published in the Huffington Post (here’s the link).

No doubt you’re reading between the lines here, and my point is already quite clear…

We talk a lot about our schools being warm and welcoming communities. What we forget – or perhaps, fail to prioritize in the daily pressure of doing our jobs – is that we have daily opportunities to create experiences for our donors that are special and memorable.

In fact, they can be one-of-a-kind, out-of-this-world moments. The kind that will have your donors feeling the same way about your school as those parents did about the Ritz Carlton.

But we have our eyes open for them. And we make time to capture and share them.

Easier said than done, right?

In order to really to create meaningful buzz at our school, we need to reorient our programs, our schedule, our days, our thinking, to craft unique moments and experiences and then act on them.

My smart friend Jay Goulart often says: “Different isn’t always better but better is always different”.

I think that’s the litmus test, right there. Is your idea different? Is it out of the norm? Will your doing it surprise and delight? Then it’s worth doing.

It’s as simple as that.

How will you create an experience for a donor that she remembers and tells everyone about? What have you done lately that you are pleased with?

I recently visited a great little school and witnessed circle time at the lower school. It was outstanding: calm and purposeful and still joyful. Everyone from the kindergarten to 4th graders engaged, listening, and respectfully participating.

Afterward, I met with the school’s Board Chair for a cup of tea.

In our discussion, I was surprised when he wondered aloud how they could better capitalize on the opportunities he was seeing pass them by with some families of means.

I shared what I’d just experienced at “circle time” and put it to him this way:

“When your advancement program is as engaged and purposeful and joyful as what I just witnessed at your very own Lower School, you will – hands down – have the best advancement program in the country.”

And it was true. So often what we’re looking for is already there, reader.

How are you distinguishing your advancement program through the experiences you create for your donors? I’d love to hear about it. Just use the form at the bottom of this post.

Or, if you know your school needs a shot in the arm in this area, give me a call. Let’s talk about how we can apply some of the Ritz-type magic to what you’re doing.

barbara@barbarabarron.com

860-604-9081

My name is Barbara Barron, and I’m writing this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

My name is Barbara Barron, and I’m writing this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

I’ve been working in the field of Independent School Advancement for over 20 years. In that time, I’ve had the pleasure of creating and implementing successful fundraising plans and programs for so many incredible schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing real growth at The Carey School, Marin Primary & Middle School, Woodside Priory, Crystal Springs, Presidio Knolls, Sage Ridge, and San Diego French American, and others. (Maybe we’ve met!)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a struggling school start to thrive. My hope is that you’re here to make a positive change as well. I hope my advice can be a part of that change.

Shoot me an e-mail if you want to swap tips, or share your voice here.

Let’s do this, together.

The post How Do We Create Word-of-Mouth Buzz With Our Donors? appeared first on Barbara Barron.

How Can We Get Better at Asking Parents for Gifts?

Barbara Barron — Wed, 12 Sep 2018 05:00:03 +0000

by Barbara Barron | Posted September 12th, 2018

Let me start this by asking you a question: how many big asks have you made today?

“Well, Barbara, I asked my favorite barista Chloe for a little less foam on my latte, and then I asked Jason to re-send that e-mail he sent yesterday because it didn’t show up…”

I’m being silly here. Clearly, I mean big, as in, important asks. How many times today have you picked up the phone and asked a parent to give?

I imagine that most of us would answer with a big fat goose egg. Which is okay, honestly. There are likely a dozen reasons why. I’m not here to judge. Really. Rather, I’d like to pose a question to you:

Why, even though it’s our job to raise money for our schools, do we spend much of our time not actually asking for donations?

The answer?

Because asking is hard.

That’s right. Asking is hard. It’s tough to put yourself out there. I love it, personally, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s easy.

Here’s the thing: we naturally avoid hard things in our day-to-day. It’s very easy to stack our agendas with everything but asking.

But asking is what we should be doing. You and I both know that.

So how do we make what is always going to be hard to do, a little less painful?

I believe the solution is always in approaching it with confidence.

“Okay, Barbara. I’ll agree that confidence would help, but I can’t just magically become more confident…”

Sure you can! And there’s only one way to do it.

Do it regularly.

The reason we feel unsure is that we are out of practice.

So start by resolving to make a call with an ask every morning.

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First thing you do after you’ve had your coffee and have your wits about you. Can’t be an email. Has to be a call.

Can you agree to that? Write it down on a post it. Slap it on the monitor.

One ask every morning

I’m going to double down here: Make the most important call first. Just do it. I bet you’ll ride the wave of energy from that for hours!

See, it’s not just the best part of the job, it’s the most effective part – even if you aren’t feeling it. In every profession, whether you’re a cop or an attorney or a dentist or an airline pilot – there are parts of the job that are routine and easy, and aspects of them that no layperson can really do. That’s what makes them professions. Right? Right.

So, for us development professionals, the hardest part of the job is the ask. The fear of rejection exists in all of us – even those who don’t outwardly show it.

But it’s also the job.

Sometimes it takes extraordinary circumstances to see where you really thrive. Several years ago I worked at a school and for about six months solid, we worked to complete a major capital campaign. During that period, I routinely had as many as three big asks a day. My Head of School felt like he was about to collapse, but I was buzzing – even during my off hours.

I discovered that that was my happy place. Which means that my sad place is a week with no solicitations scheduled. When I see the calendar with open terrain, my energy sinks.

The ask is the most honest and real moment we have in this work. It’s the moment we get to (hopefully) look into the eyes of people who already care about our school and connect.

Connect, not sell. We’re not salespeople. We don’t have to sell our schools and their programs to these fine folks. We meet with people who are already believers. The hard work of touching their hearts has already been done. By our teachers. Coaches. Advisors.

Our job, in advancement, is to translate the feelings our supporters have into action. We give believers the opportunity to express their support in the form of a money gift.

We don’t create the feelings. We simply help others put them into fruitful action.

Yum.

“Hmm. That’s beautiful, Barbara. But that doesn’t make the morning ask any easier…”

Sure it does!

Because in those breathless moments before your donor arrives, or as the phone rings, you can tell yourself: “I’m about to have a conversation with someone who believes in my school as much as I do.”

That’s all you’re doing: having a conversation with an intent to collaborate.

That sounds like a fun bit of ego-less problem-solving! A way to connect with someone right after breakfast!

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I’ve written previously about how some of the lessons they teach in improv comedy are helpful for our profession. And you’ve no doubt read (or heard of) Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers: The Story of Success and heard of the 10,000-hour rule. What’s the overlap, here?

You have to do the hard thing a lot to become a master at it, to harness your fear of it and turn it into power.

Think Stephen Curry shooting 3 pointers until his arms feel like lead.

Or Yoyo Ma, going over the same arpeggios for hours every day.

If you’re feeling really out of practice, which can happen after a day or two of not making any big asks, practice with your team. They might find the request strange – but they shouldn’t. Practice in a no-fail environment first, then take your act on the road.

Take 15 minutes at a Development Committee meeting or (even better) Trustee meeting and lead a practice session for them. Have them ask the person next to them for $5,000 for the Annual Fund.

Need a script or some talking points? Here you go:

1. Tell the person next to you about the specific program/initiative at your school that excites you most.

2. Explain why. (This should be easy.)

3. Follow up with: “So many people feel like you do about [that program/initiative.] Would you consider joining us with a gift of $5,000 to support its successful launch?”

4. Now, wait. In silence.

From that point on, instinct will take over.

Do that a couple of times. Do it in pairs. Then switch partners.

Heck, I’ll do you one better. If you, your Head, or one of your trustees, is feeling less than confident, maybe even a bit intimidated to ask for a gift for your school, I volunteer to practice with you over the phone.

I write this because I love my professional community, and I’m always happy to talk to a member of it. Even a total stranger!

Here’s how it’ll work: you have my e-mail and phone number and Twitter handle. Reach out via whichever method you like, and we’ll set up a 15-minute call in the next few days. (Obviously not if it’s a major holiday, yada yada, etc.)

We’ll shoot the stuff for a few minutes, then roleplay your big ask a few times.

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? I can’t wait.

barbara@barbarabarron.com

860-604-9081

My name is Barbara Barron, and I’m writing this blog to share advice on a profession that I adore.

I’ve been working in the field of Independent School Advancement for nearly 20 years. In that time, I’ve had the pleasure of creating and implementing successful Strategic Fundraising Plans for so many incredible schools. I’ve had the privilege of seeing real growth at The Carey School, Marin Primary & Middle School, Woodside Priory, Crystal Springs, Sage Ridge and others. (Maybe we’ve met!)

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a struggling school start to thrive. I’m sure that you’re here to make a positive change as well. I hope my advice can be a part of that change.

Shoot me an e-mail if you want to swap tips, or share your voice here.

Let’s do this, together.

The post How Can We Get Better at Asking Parents for Gifts? appeared first on Barbara Barron.

Engaging with Donors Archives - Barbara Barron

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Related posts:

What Are the Dangers of Having an Angel Donor?

What Should We Do When We Make a Donor Angry?

How Do We Create Word-of-Mouth Buzz With Our Donors?

How Can We Get Better at Asking Parents for Gifts?